This experience has been..........sigh...............

Thursday started out like any other day. I didn't feel that good or energetic but those days come and go during pregnancy. I wasn't up for doing much that day so I decided to stay home and take it easy. I did the same ol' house hold tasks but pretty much just didn't go anywhere. After I made and cleaned up dinner, got Avery into bed, I climbed into bed myself and read a book. After studying, Erik came in not too long after and we turned off the lights to go to sleep. About twenty five minutes later, I felt something that didn't feel right, a trickle of some sort. My first thought was that my water broke. I went into the bathroom, flipped on the lights only to find a puddle of blood and more coming. I panicked because although I knew a lot of women with placenta previa bleed during pregnancy, I was not expecting it at all. I had made it 30 weeks with no problems, and I guess I just got cocky and thought I would be fine. I started calling for Erik because it didn't seem to want to stop. We called the hospital and they said I needed to go right in. My thought was that I would go in, they would check things out and I would go home. Not so much. They put me on a fetal monitor for a couple of hours then admitted me into the hospital. I slept there alone, scared of what would happen next. Next morning, a perionatalogist came in and did an ultrasound. This is where it got harry. He said Konner looks awesome! Whew, that was good news. But, he had another concern. My placenta previa appeared as though it might be fusing with my uterus. (That's not supposed to happen). When that happens, it makes it difficult or impossible for the placenta to detach after the baby is born. Lot's of blood can be lost and most importantly, my uterus could have to be taken out. That was devastating. A blood transfusion and the loss of my uterus. NO MORE BABIES!!! I didn't know what to do or think. I was in shock. It was not what I was expecting at all. He said the ultrasound couldn't give him a definite answer as to whether or not it's fused to my uterus so, he ordered an MRI to try and get a better look. Those results, inconclusive as well :(  So basically the plan is to be prepared to take out my uterus, and have blood on hand for a transfusion if necessary. If all goes well then great, but I'm not too optimistic. Good news is, they would leave my ovaries so I wouldn't have to take hormones or anything. I would be the same just no uterus to carry anymore babies. After crying over the possible loss of my uterus, I've finally come to terms with it. At least I've been able to have babies and Konner is doing great, which is such a relief. If not, that would be the icing on the crap cake! After four days of not bleeding I was released and am now on bed rest. I've had lots of shots, iv's, blood draws all in preparation for Konner's early arrival. Our goal, keep him in for at least another month. Fingers crossed. If I bleed again, I have to live in the hospital till he arrives. I discovered there are women that have been there for 28 weeks. Oh how selfish and foolish I felt. It could be so much worse and I'm so grateful that they discovered this problem because had I not bled, they wouldn't have known the status of my placenta and it would have been a mess in the operating room. Now they can be prepared for the worst. My goal: come up with something for these women who are living in the hospital. My heart goes out to them! Not being able to wake up to your kids and kiss them good night. It's the worst thing in the world and I'm so grateful to be home with my sweet husband and Avery, even if that means I have to lay on the couch.